drama, family pictures, and Napoleon Dynamite (in a pear tree)

First of all, I love the fact that my whole Christmas rocked! My whole family was there, and they all met Heath for the first time. There were a couple of rocky moments, but all around, no islolated incidents. All in all, I'm not wincing more than I'm smiling.

Since our whole family was present this holiday (sis, hubby, and the kids), my parents decided it was time to take the family photos again (last time it occured bro-in-law was not present and it was 5 years ago), so we piled into 2 cars and headed to the nearest JC Penny's to smile in uncomfortable positions for a portrait that would stand the test of time on my parent's wall. Ugh.

It all started out harmlessly, we all arrived somewhat in time, but there was only one person there to help us, and she looked like someone who eats lemons on PMS, she was not a happy person. I'm sure it had something to do with other people in that dept. not showing up on time (ugh, retail...blah), but my bro-in-law kept making references to Nep. Dyn. when he was getting his high school pics taken, "now put your hand in a fist and sloooooowly raise it to your chin, that's right, now slightly tilt your head...like thiiiiiiiiiis", ya'll know what I"m talking about. We were all trying not to laugh because he was totally mocking this woman, she had us playing some evil game of twister due to the fact that we are NOT a short family, so there was a lot of bending, leaning, and straddling chairs...that and she had this wierd obsession with telling my dad to lower his chin, I was tempted to start a tally (or a drinking game at this point). Let's just say by the time we were done, none of us could stand straight or walk without limping a bit.

Also, let's not forget that I look like a bloated vampire with my very pale skin and black hair. Ugh...why I get my pics taken is beyond me these days!

Heath was very well behaved the whole time. I can't really say he isn't all the time...it's just sometimes I get a little nervous. Now that I look at that, it almost sounds like I'm speaking about some errant child..no...that would be the love of my life. :) Ahhh ladies, men....but I digress. Heath and I are doing great, we have had a few wonderful relationshippy type breakthroughs and we're doing bettter. We are very committed to eachother and I still adore him very much. I had a good holiday, now let's hope that New Years will be all that and a bag of chips! Cheers!

Poetry for the Season

Christmas Eve of Memories

The day seems to pass like a snail, each second ticking away like years.
When the day starts to darken, anticipation and spirits start to rise.
Walking around on a pre-existing sugar high, vexing the crowd with hyper antics until the look of warning is given.
At long last, the end of the eve is represented with the click and whir of the VCR. Within the darkened room, all attention is on the illuminated screen, people humming along with the melody or head in hands when the ghost screams and rants his intent to the now cowering Scrooge.
After the movie, three pairs of sleepy eyes and their wide awake minds turn to the darkened stairs.
Trudging up one by one, I am the last on the accent and a conspiracy is formed in my mind before it even hits the pillow.
An unrest of open eyed sleep, I think of tomorrow’s wonders. Watching the green glow of the alarm clock mirror the passing of that crawling span of time, my eyes finally close and I fade into sugarplum dreams.

Jolted awake by the tiniest of sounds, I glance to see the early morning hour. Listening with rabbit ears, I hear the symphony of deep breathing coming from the room across the hall.
Slowly crawling from my cocoon of warmth, I cringe as the springs of my mattress protest the shifting of weight.
Standing in my doorway, I listen to see if the rhythm of breathing is broken or hushed. Satisfied, I breathe a soft sigh of relief and float on naked feet to the stairwell and cautiously descend.
With the knowledge of every creaking bored burned into my memory, I shift from side to side to avoid the noise of my early rise.



With every step, the soft ambient glow of multicolored lights gets brighter and brighter. When the last step is taken on polar laminate, a big sigh of breath is exhaled at the victory of non-discovery.
Turning the corner with eyes wide, they adapt to the scenery before me. A large tree covered in illuminated memories, with and eerie luminescence from the gaily wrapped presents beneath.
I stare at the feast of material things that give me so much joy. With itchy hands, I reach out to caress the nametags to see how big my booty is this year. Eyeing the largest package, I crane my neck to see for whom it’s intended, and grimace when another name is printed in my mother’s neat script.
Stepping back, I go to the deep blue couch that looks so inviting to my now tired mental state. Yawning into unconsciousness, I am lulled to sleep by the soft glowing embers of a nearly spent fire combined with the faint wisps of scent from the large red holiday candle.
I hear a whisper on the edge of a dream, calling my name while getting louder and more urgent. Slowly awakening, the room still dark, I’m disoriented by my surroundings. A soft thud and a creak of well worn stair convince my fast beating heart that I have been discovered.
Another whisper bordering on a shout informs me to go back to my bed. I smile and take one last glimpse of the room, and burn the picture into my memory. Padding back up the stairs, I hurry past the glowering ghost like figure waiting at the top of the stair in his robe, and scurry back into my room.
As I cover myself and snuggle deep into bed, a smile plays across my face, and when my mind falls back into slumber, the smile still remains.

Random Thoughts

Well, it's the season to remember friends and family that aren't able to be around you. I've definitely have been thinking of past friends. Don't get me wrong, I'm not lack for company, in fact if anything my non-existent social life has been noticed by the masses, I just find that lately my thoughts go to every person I've ever known in my life and how they've effected my life as it is now. Kay... so to get to this point I have a couple people....let's start from the beginning:

-To the Ladies at Bridal Collections who put up with my crazy personality for the last four years.
-To Cathrine...the coolest ever, we be wild and crazy gals
-To Adam for teaching me that I am worth the attention of a kind and giving man
-To Heath for ending up being that man
-To my sis for being my whack of reality and keeping me in line when I start to drift
-To my family for being the peanut gallery (is a good thing)
-And to all those past friends that got me to kick myself in the right direction....I'm not there yet, but I'm on the right path.

And of course to Fedja, who was a constant reminder as to why I stayed single for so long (just kidding pimp daddy, you're still the coolest quazi-brother, you're just too much of a player! lol)

(if I didn't mention you, it's not because I don't think of you, or appreciate you any less, it's 12:30 in the morning and my contacts are VERY dry! lol)

I don't know why these thing pop into my head. I guess it's because I've been tracking my life's progress over the last year or so...and actually I think I'm doing pretty good....so far. Don't get me wrong, I'm far from content...that's going to take a couple more years of trying to achieve my goals...but for now, baby steps.

Then there are the ones that I had to leave behind because their lives sucked the breath out of me, but if it wasn't for those people, I wouldn't have the strength to recognize those kinds of people who effect my life in a very negative way. I'm not perfect, and I have my bad moments, but I'm not about to make other people's lives miserable by whining constantly about why my life could, would, or does suck, as the case may be. I have to keep these people in mind because it inspires me not to dwell on the really negative things in my life, in turn, being like that it would make me out to be exactly like the people I try so hard to keep away. I feel very blessed for what I do have, isn't that enough? But I digress.

I told my dad tonight that I don't regret anything, or anyone in my life due to the fact that each individual instance has taught me some kind of valuable life lesson. I would have done things a little different, but since I can't, why dwell? I want to live my life to be better, because if I didn't learn then, I sure as heck don't want to go through those 'lessons' again.

I don't know, now I'm just rambling, but it feels good to get off my mind. Never regret, just learn from it...cheers.

Evening Festivities (and a wee rant)

So my night was great, but my day however, sucked a duck's butt. I had NO good calls. Everyone was irate and tired of being on hold, in a hurry, or telling me that their name was not any of my business (yeah, you read right, so you can only imagine). I'M FREAKN' CUSTOMER SERVICE YOU DOLTS!!! If you want help, you don't bite the hand that feeds you, to quote one customer "I hope you realize what a place of power you have over me due to the fact that you have complete control of my account right now". DUH...he was the smart one! Oye, sometimes this job can really make me soooo frustrated. Heath was being great because the day before he was being Mr. Grumpy pants and I was the most awesome girlfriend by keeping up a good attitude, oh don't worry, he snapped out of it real quick when after a full day of his attitude I snapped at him and told him I couldn't keep up with my perky self for much longer. He just smiled, gave me a peck and said he was grateful for me. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Whew...got that out. Ok...better now.

I went and saw "Narnia" last night with my parents and Heath. It was really good. Initially my Mom and I were supposed to see it as a daughter/mother thing, but then my Dad ended up wanting to come, and of course naturally Heath wanted to come to, but not before giving me a hard time about it because for the last 2 weeks I have stressed the importance of it just being my Mom and I...and then after all that my Mom calls me up to say that Dad was coming too (weak, weak! lol). I'm actually glad because I've been insistently mentioning to Heath that he is welcome to spend time with me and my family, well, he even said something to the same effect, so there we were. I got him to read the first couple books of the Narnia series, so he knew what he was watching and where it all came from (yes, i know that the first book is actually the eighth, whatever). We had a great time and the movie was wonderful, I fought off as long as I could, but I ended up bawling at the stone table like I always do when I read that chapter, but there was only one part that I had to keep myself from making a Lion King reference. The only thing that kept me from doing it was because Heath has a really loud laugh, and it was supposed to be a serious part of the movie, but I told him after the movie and of course I was right. *sigh* I do adore that man!

Anyway, it was nice to come home to soft christmas lights and the radio playing jazzy christmas music. Hope ya'll are doing well too. Cheers!

Alone time

Ok, even though I value each moment I share with Heath, it is nice to have my apartment to myself once and a while. I value my alone time as well, being a hermit for the last 5 years or so has taught me the importance of taking a break from things, of course my house was constantly messy and since I hate doing dishes, you can only imagine. I have to admit, now that I have him over almost everyday, my house has retained a state of cleanliness that I thought (and I'm sure others!) was never possible.

I look back on those days of utter boredom spent sitting in my apartment all by myself wishing for a friend or dare I even hope it, a relationship to pass the time. It wasn't very happy, I got depressed easily and I even worked an extra job on top of my regular job and school so that I could break up the monotony of coming home to an empty house. And when I had to give away my cat...man...not good. I am grateful for that experience however because it makes me value what I have now, because I don't want to go back to that, and to tell you the truth, I don't plan on it, well, for a while anyway!

All in all, I feel that I can connect with a certain person who values her alone time too (you know who you are!), it really gives you a chance to relax and be yourself, you're not expected to clean, cook, pamper, keep up the regime, blah, blah, blah. Not saying that I keep a fake me plastered to my face when he is around, I just feel like I always have to keep things a certain way...we all do it girls...you know we do, but we love them, and that's why we do it...right? I guess that's why women all over hang out in groups, ya'll can relax around eachother because you understand the situation with this silly secret smirk on your faces...hey, I got it too! Wow...what can I add to that revelation?

Needless to say that I know he's going to stop over for a few hours later and I still have a living room full of laundry from yesterday (which he saw), so if it's there he'll know I did nothing (mua-ha-ha), but why does that stress me out??? Oh yea, *smirk*, I'm humoring him while bettering my cleanliness (gag, did I really just say that???). Ok, well, I must ponder on that some more...hmmm...cheers!

Book plugging

I just finished a book series called "The Song of Ice and Fire" by George R.R. Martin. Very good series full of knights, ladies, not-so-ladies, and Dragons. Now this is not you're regular sci-fi or fantasy series, it's actually more based on warring, politics, and with a wee bit of magic thrown in. I have to admitt when I first saw the books, I was a little leary due to the sheer size of each volume, that and the first book was reeeaaalllyyy boring, but then I relized why...foreshadowing.

This author is wonderful at setting up things, it makes you think, and then when you think you've got it, he blows it all to pieces and sends you running to the previous book to consult references....this is a series that you have to read the books at least twice so you can follow everything...most of the time you end up smacking your forehead in a "duh, I should have seen that coming" moment. It's really a fascinating read. I'm grateful that Heath pushed...er..I mean lent me those books! Now I have to wait up to a year until the next one comes out, oh well.

On other notes, I got very good reviews at work, I actually have to lowest stats right now on my team, which is good because you're stats are like, hold times, availability...etc. You want these thing to be low because it means that you're on the phone with customers instead of on hold and doing work avoidance. It made my day.

Heath and I went shopping yesterday morning before work, he had the unfortunate accident of falling on ice and ripping his pants, and I my ankle, it was quite funny accident, but, I digress. We went shopping and got him a couple things, but I had the wonderful experience of seeing him in jeans...*sigh*, we spent a great morning window shopping, watching holiday festivities and a languid lunch in front of a big window facing the main drag of downtown, still loving the holidays. I need to go shopping, I think I'll start doing that next week, by myself of course, Heath says he's actually getting me a christmas present (he says with a wink), I'm speechless...hmmm..must ponder more (tee-hee). Any way, all and all a fun experience. Well, more later, cheers!

Pass the nog Mr. Mathis!

Kay, christmas spirit has officially hit! I quazi-decorated my apartment for the upcoming seasonal joy, and then I realized, I need a tree! My friend Cathrine, her daughter and I are going christmas tree hunting...literally. We three women are going out to the few acres of woodland her parents own armed with nothing but our axes and mental measurements of ceiling heights. Oh what fun! Mr. Johnny Mathis is dutifully in his rightful place IN my CD player, and Father Winter has finally heard my wishes and pleas for a normal white christmas, and Heath is making hot chocolate (w/marshmellow of course!), yeah, this is going to be a good holiday!

Who can't smile a wee bit when they hear faint sounds of christmas music come wafting through well placed speakers outside those bustling downtown stores? Obviously I'm in a good mood, the only thing keeping me from doing a "sound of music" turn in the falling flakes of fat snow, is the fact that it's cold, and I get wierd looks...that and I don't think my boss likes me standing on my desk anyhow, I get a little caught up in the moment sometimes...ahem.

Sooo, the cheer is near and my list is...well, still there. I have yet to get presents for people, granted I know what I'm getting people, I just have to brave the crowds and do it. After last years gifts it's gonna be hard to top this year, but here's the great thing, presents aren't the major thing, it's the fact that my sister and the fam are comming!!! That tops it for me, totally, no questions asked, I am officially the happiest ever!

So now today is my lazy day, currently listening the Harry Connick Jr. sing holiday songs on my TV and somewhat cleaning, no need to make a big deal out of it, I'm perfectly content staying in my snowman pj's with my terry cloth bathrobe and...chocolate. :) It's a good thing to be sure, the only thing I miss is my fireplace, oh well, can't have everything now can I?

Ok, well, I know I may be perky, but I have plenty of reasons to be! I'm hoping that my holiday cheer will rub off on people and at least make them smile. Ok...I'll leave it be...for now. :)

Hope this brings a smile to anyone who reads it, and happy holidays! Cheers.

So many channels, so little time.

Ok, for all of you that know me, you know that I'm not much of a TV fanatic, due to the fact that I blame my lack of enthusuasm for life soley on watching and wasting away my life in front of a TV. My choice of course, however as an adult, I've spent most of it so far shunning the likes of the "WB" or who can out-do eachother as far as the crime scene shocker shows (bloated flesh not so much on my must-see list), and even the Ellen show is not able to tempt me for very long (even though she is pretty darn good at what she does!).

Needless to say there is a reason why I don't know what HI-DEF is, or why the only TV I have ever owned is an old set that I grew up with and my parents owned PREVIOUS to any kids..hey, it works, and WELL for the 4-5 channels I may get depending on the weather! Well...that all changed (grumble), and I can't stop progress.

Heath decided that since he spends sooooo much time at my house anyway, he would like to broaden his variety as far as entertainment was concerned, which is fine for me, because other than those few channels, we have been able to work on our relationship and play catch-up on some reading, all to which led us to the great breakthrough moment of "gee, we can do other stuff now and feel like we wouldn't be ignoring eachother now!" Hence (dum, dum, dum) CABLE! Not just any cable.....the platinum package AND a DVR for all those sports highlights he can pause, rewind, pause...rewind, oh you get the point. I feel this is a good thing because he made a great point in telling me 2 things...one: he HATES going out somewhere else to be able to watch a football game, he would rather stay here and cuddle (yes, he said CUDDLE), and two: he says that nothing solidifies a relationship then a first combined bill (DON"T PANIC!!) Let me explain:

The Combined Bill:
Ok, we have cable and now, obviously the internet. So this is how it's broken down. I told him from the very beginning that I did not support cable because it's evil and takes away good interactions, so I would not spend one brass farthing towards anything TV related...well fine and dandy for him, he got me when he said it would be cheaper if we got INTERNET. That got me, ya'll know how much of a webwhore I am (chuckle), so I end up giving in only because all I'm paying for is the net, which is waaaaaaaay less than what he's paying for, and it's all in his name, so if anything amiss happens (knock on wood), then he can take his cable and even internet and...well, you get it. I think the only thing good that can come of this TV business is that we get the BYU channel, so I get to watch conference again!!! Other than that...

Needless to say all is doing well, my family is coming for christmas and I'm completly stoked, I have a good job (when cust aren't yelling), and a wonderful guy who takes care of me, and even does my dishes! I'm happy and content for the first time in my life, and after everything I've gone through, it was worth it! Now if only that pesky nerve in my back would become un-pinched so that these bloody headaches would go away, oh well, if that's the only annoyance I suffer, I'm good! Anywhoo, fingers are out of practice and they ache..lol...cheers!

About Bloody Time!!!

Well, it I got internet again, and a computer, so it looks like I'll be able to keep up with ya'll....finally! Sorry it took me so long to update, it's been a long hard summer, but well worth it!

Heath and I are doing great, I have a good job, family is coming for Christmas, and even my brother has internet (gasp!). Life is good. Of course there's a lot to tell, but it's not worth it at this point, so for now that's all I have to write. Hope to hear from you all and keep me posted!
Cheers!