Life in general just sucks a duck's butt

Well, this is what happened today in short. I'm broke, so broke that it hurts, I have to move due to the apartment building I live in has been sold and they're kicking everyone out, I'm alone...again. Um..let's see, my phone got turned off today because I found out that my ex(whom i was sharing a plan with) hasn't been paying the bill for the last couple of months, and has been doing goodness knows what with the money that I have been giving him. It's my only phone, so for now I have nothing to back me up. I just got a notice saying that they are going to shut off my power if I don't pay the full bill by tomorrow. My english class is not doing so hot because apparently I have writer's block. My bank account is negitive, and I had to reduce myself to getting my old job back that I HATE (even though they wanted me back) so that I can make ends meet. That means that I'll be working 2 jobs AND going to school. My boss at my first job was on my case all day because she's in a bad mood and likes to take it out on me, not to mention that my paycheck is getting garnished, and I might not be able to pay rent, or starve. All my bills are due for some reason, and I'm paying them off as much as possible, but it's like "when the hell do I get a brake for once???". I work my butt off so hard to get things in a good way, I don't lie, cheat, steal, or screw anyone to work my way up the food chain. I like to consider myself a good person, so why the heck do I get effed up the rear all the bloody time??? It's almost to the point to where I don't know what to do. If anyone has any suggestions...I'm soooooo all ears here, I'm at the end of my rope, and I don't know how much more of this that I can take before I crack!

Stupid Ex's!

The Reverse Effect

Well, I've been friends with a guy for a long time. We'll call him "A" for now. I've know him since I was a teenager, we've done plenty of things together, like church dances and hanging out together at the school we both attended. Well, it seems like no matter what, no matter how long we are apart, we always seem to find eachother eventually. Sure I had a big crush on him in high school, but my life and my feelings change. Well, recently he went through a break up and we ended up hanging out a bit. I gave him advice on how to deal with post breakup woes, and used a lot of my own experiences (many as they are) to help him deal with his decision to be the one to do the breaking. I guess that being involved in that experience gave us both the chance to become very close and bond for the first time. Both of us being very emotional about relationships, kinda ended up having a quasi-relationship. We both didn't want to be in one, but it was convenient to be together. Well, recently things have gotten a little weird, and I finally realized that we were acting like a dating couple. Anyone who saw us from a third part point of view would agree that we looked and acted like we were in a relationship, which is something neither of us are ready for. I still have a lot of mucking to do based on my last relationship, and I also refuse to be "rebound girl". We both have the common sense to talk about these things, and have decided to cool our jets for the time being. I informed him that I wouldn't trade that experience for anything, and that the last month has really helped me strengthen a lot of areas that I have weakened over the last couple of years, and that he really was my rock of strength, but now I'm ready to weigh anchor and move on into my own blue something. I guess I feel better, because I kept myself from doing exactly what made my last relationship go poopy. I wasn't afraid to talk about stuff, and call somebody on their crap and he(unlike matt), opened up on his own accord and wasn't afraid to tell me how he was seeing things. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, I don't feel as bad, I mean, it kinda stung, but I'm not going to let history repeat itself, not with this guy, he means to much to me. So, thanks Matt for teaching me that I need to stop being such a physical and emotional leach! Now I can concentrate on just being friends with 'A', and not worry bout anything else. Afterall, I really do care for this guy, and the last thing I want to do is turn him into something that he's not naturally, and will hate himself for later...I've done that already, and the consequences suck. I still have high hopes with 'A', but I don't feel the need to rush on anything. We'll still hang out once and a while, and cuddle some, but with less frequency than we have been. Ahhhhh....how liberating! Cheers!

Ok, ok..here's my blog

Well, much to the amusement of my family and friends, and a little push from my dear sister, I decided to post my life for all to see. Don't get too excited, I don't know how often I'll post, just know that if something significant happens, I'll write about it. I'm actually impressed with this blog site, it offers a lot of things that I didn't expect. Ok, so I guess I can update a little on myself real quick. I'm currently an Art Student at the local community college, trying very hard to balance school with my 2 jobs as a retail sales associate and kitchen staff at a very new upscale restaurant. It's a pain in the tush to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn, go to school, go to work, then go to work again, but I'm young, and I guess I can handle it...fer now. I'm not in a relationship, but I do have a wonderful boy who is totally involved in my life. He treats me with kit gloves and tons of respect, and I adore the heck out of him. I go to church as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon if you want to use simple terms), and I'm having a wonderful time getting to know my fellow church-goers. I've lived in the same town for all my life, well, all except that 3 years when I escaped with my life! When I'm not running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I like spending some quiet time either snuggled up with my favorite guy, or taking a few quiet moments and clack away on my computer to the dolscent tunes of the international Irish radio station. Other than that, I had a fleeting few months where I was attempting to escape once more into the wide world, but much to my dismay, and after hours of thinking bout it, decided to stay and get my degree and continue to reap the blessings that have been heaped upon me. Sooooo....short end, that's about it. Hope this gets some people up to date, and don't worry, you'll hear from me again! Cheers!

Welcome to my world