WOOT!

I got a copy of my GED in the mail today, so now the only thing holding me back from applying to Seattle is the cost! With this next paycheck I'm hoping to have enough to do so. I knew I got my GED, but I never saw the certificate, so when I finally saw it for the first time today, I was very happy and it made me remember what I (and my sis) went through to get it. It satisfies me to no end to finally see the end result of all my effort from 4 years ago.

All the major people at the restaurant are getting fired for doing stupid stuff, like joking around with a friend (who also happens to be their boss) about calling in sick the next day but actually going to the lake...yup, they actually are that stupid some times! So we lost yet another crew member. Now I know why they wanted me to come back, I have a brain! So the position for head Chef is up, but I don't think I'll get it because it requires me to work more hours, and because of my other job, I can't. Grr...I really don't want to be dish girl anymore, I want to cook specifically. We shall see, at least I know I'm a canidate.

It feels good to come home to a clean apartment, it just sucks cuz I'm so comfy here, and maybe in a couple of months I'll have to uproot myself again. I have to get rid of all my furniture and figure out what I'm taking with me...I have sooo much crap! I got rid of a ton already. To me it just seems like all I ever do is get rid of stuff. I don't buy much, just clothes mostly, so I don't understand how I can acquire so many knick-knacks! I guess it's the pack rat syndrome, I remember it used to drive my Dad buggy when I'd clean my room, cuz I just had so much stuff! Now I can see where he came from on that (and I'll only admit it once dad, so don't get too excited!).

Ok, so I was extra tired today, and I have yet another 16hour day ahead of me tomorrow, and like a stupid idiot I drank some pepsi to help me stay awake. So not only do I have a wierd film in my mouth from the soda (that I hardly EVER drink) but I haven't had caffeine in so dang long that I've developed a sensitivity to it! Oh well, I'm hoping that by writing in my blog and putting the rest of my laundry away that I'll be able to expel some of this energy I have (boing, boing!). So on that note, cheerio!

Memorial Report

So Adam is gone, not even a goodbye...I guess that's good-ish...nuff said bout that.

Some Memorial weekend. Didn't do a damn thing yesterday, but busted my a** today and cleaned my whole apartment. I still have 3 loads of laundry left, and I still need to organize my closet. *sigh*

I wanted to go hiking sooooooooo bad today. The weather was perfect, but Casey's van broke down on the way over from the valley, so I ended up staying home and shoving all the un-organized stuff into my closet. Then a bunch of friends came over for dinner, the ones I was going to go hiking with. So I guess it wasn't so bad.

I still have to finish a drawing project that I put off all weekend, but it's ok, I have to keep an eye on my laundry or the folding fairy will get to it. I don't mind usually, but this is all my underwear and stuff...I don't even like folding it, all I normally do is shove it in the first drawer of my dresser. I think it's just the crazy cat lady who lives below me. It's funny cuz in my last apartment I had a crazy cat lady a.k.a. the folding fairy...hmm..I wonder if they have a secret society? That would be a cute pre-teen book. A bunch of kids discovering a secret society of super brained old ladies that cover up their brilliance by being dubbed "crazy cat ladies". The only way that they can be discovered is by their impulse to fold laundry! I don't know, all I know is that I'm fighting becoming a crazy cat lady myself! AAAAGGGHHH!!

Cheerio!

End

Spinning sentinels record my arrival at reality gate #4.
.
Can you see the tear path to my wobbly chin?

All that I wanted is wrapped in a neat u-haul shaped package ready to overnight.

This is goodbye to past, present, and future. Glad I didn't have to pay the postage.
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Adam's gone, or he will be in about 6 hours. I don't know that for sure, but I'm going to assume. He never emailed me back. I guess I have to be satisfied with that. I watched celebrity reality all day, didn't even take a shower. Who cares except my bunny slippers? I have no one to answer to cept those guys, and they don't talk much. So, goodbye Adam, it was fun.

Maybe some night when you're home and your wife and kids are asleep, you'll be flipping channels and see a flash of my bright perfect smile. You'll stop and watch as I walk down the runway linked arm in arm with beautiful models who have just shown the world yet another great season of my work. You'll sit there and stare at the image and remember, maybe smile a little smile, and never forget. I'll miss him, yes...I'll miss him.

Onward eh?

Not so bright...is he?

Ok, this is too good..er...bad not to write about. It's killing me here. So Adam is moving on Mon. to Utah to have fun with Jenn and forget about me. Yeah, that I can handle, I was expecting him to at least call me up on the last day and be like "oh yeah, guess I should say goodbye eh?" or something akin to that. So anyway, he actually called me up today and wanted to know if I could spare a few moments, and in my mind I was thinking "oh, he finally remembered me", but to my absolute horror, he was like "yeah, I was wondering if you had a few moments because Jenn's here and I want you to meet her!". *THUD*

You're kidding me right? He expects me to be all sugar and spice to my replacement??!! What the eff??? I told him that I was a little busy and couldn't come down at that moment, but in actuality my heart was in stun mode, and my brain was in panic mode, so I laughed it off and told him that I was in the middle of something. After I hung up the phone, I just kinda sat there for about 5 seconds before I picked it up again to call my sister. "HOLY CRAP, IS HE THAT DENSE?" was all I heard her say before I snapped out of it long enough to come up with a plan. So I wrote him an email explaining that I'm very glad that he came into my life at that time, but I wasn't ready, nor did I feel comfortable to meet the girl that replaced me on my lovely pedestal. I haven't heard back from him, but I have a feeling he got the message and isn't going to dignify it with a return post. I actually prefer it that way. So under the advice of my sis. I went to my fav. veg spot and wrote some poetry. This is what I came up with:
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"reality in the a.m"

Bleary eyed and still crusty with sleep, I manage to prop myself up with an elbow to view the world through one eye in disdain.

Fate is a foe or an ally depending on what side of the bed I throw my leg over. I gage the distance to my bathroom and vault over the baseboard in defiance.

Pretty cracks and hairline fractures adorn my tile strewn floor. I wiggle my toes in protest to the uneven texture that someday threatens to cut me unawares.

Glancing at a pale face in the mirror, I frown as I smear the black smudges under my eyes blacker and flick at imperfections with my thumbnail.

Sighing into my jeans and weathered tank, I straiten my hair and make fishy lips while tilting my head at my reflection to see what it would be like to only have one chin.

Checking time with the pale glow of my cheap cell phone, I mumble incoherently to my ficus as I plan my escape from the cell I willingly walk into everyday to earn bread to buy the dough to bake myself into oblivion. They own my soul, or at least that's what I feel.

Sitting on the bus, I contemplate the mysteries of driving and shrug it off while watching a chinese lady dig through the garbage for cans. I've seen her before, bent over, hauling a pole on her shoulders balanced by 2 bags stuffed with aluminum cast offs. Oh why can't it be that simple?

Weary and trodden, I flash a fake smile to the girls as I pass through the dungeon gates. Roaming down the stairs, I take one last look at the sunshine before I hear the finality of the door as it clanks into place. Retrieving my shackles, I slip them on oblivious to the pain as I am deadened to it by 4 years of experience. With a hiss of steam, or clenched breath through teeth, my day lapses into normalcy.
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Hey, all I can think of is at least it's not about castration and becoming a nun! I hope my day goes better tomorrow, I think my friend Casey might actually work up the nerve to finally ask me out after 5 years. I mean, when a guy runs his finger slowly down your cheek to your jaw and blushingly says it was a stray hair, you don't get the giggles (me) for no reason. Oh heck, I dunno at this point! Cheerio.

Gerry Update

Soooo...as per the title, you can figure out what the majority of this blog is about. Hey, some people have HARRY POTTER...and others have celebs. So I figure it's not all that bad. :) From what I can deduce, Mr. Butler is currently in Toronto doing stuff for his new film release Grendel and Beowolf. I find that totally fascinating.

His assistant Tonya came on the chat the other day to update all his Tarts on what's going on with Gerry. She informed us that they flew in from Cannes to LA for a bit of a rest, and then off to Toronto he went to do some promoting, or something like that. She also gave us the thumbs up on some of the charity work that we've been doing (personally started one here at home, 3 members so far, going to a big shin-dig down in ID for the Northwest Div.), and to let us know that Gerry is now computer savy and will be popping on and off chat once and a while to "ruffle feathers". He doesn't want to announce when he's going to be online for fear of the site crashing (hey, i'm not the only one here! lol). I think Tonya finally put her foot down and told him to do his own effing email! lol...WE ADORE Tonya for it! I bet you a million that I'll be at work for ANY times he decides to pop his head in. *grumble*

Basically that's it. I think he'll most likely will be Scotland in Jan. filming his new movie we lovingly refer to as "Burns" where he portrays the popular poet. That means he might make an appearance at the convention that's going on down...er..up..um..sidways? for him. He's not planned to make an appearance, but who knows. If he's in the area, he might surprise his Tarts. I sooooooo want to go, not only because it's SCOTLAND, but because I'll also be with a bunch of people that share my *cough* interest. lol I have to say in my defense, I have NOT written him a letter, cuz I have a feeling he'll never get it, and I don't have any pictures of him anywhere visable in my house (cept the computer screen *giggle*). SOO...it's not that bad, I've calmed down a bit, but since the new news he's been at the top of my thinking list, which goes as follows:

-Gerard Butler
-Art School/Seattle
-working on my Croatian
-effing homework
-lessons (sing/guit.)
-Dad's b-day
-work/s
-rent/bills
-Visiting Teaching
-I need to get more hairspray
-oh yeah, adam's gone in 4 days, yippie (sarcasm)

So that's about it. I'm trying not to overload my brain, but these are most pressing for me at this time. If your not on the list, please don't be upset, refer to lines #1, 2, and 4 for as to why I'm going cross-eyed. *sigh. Oh well, cheerio!

I'm on YAHOO!!

So out of curiosity, I did a search on yahoo for my blog, and there it is! I don't know exactly what that means, but it fascinates me to no end. Huh...I guess anybody can look me up now (blanch). Oh holy crap, you know that means that I have to be EXTRA careful of what I say around Fedja or Adam. You know, Adam doesn't really count anymore. He's moving on Mem. Day to Utah, so I could really care less. He really feels that I'm not important anymore, and he doesn't have enough time to say "hello", so why should I make any kind of effort on my part??!! Sorry, went of in a rant there. I 'm just a little disappointed, but thankfully not hurt by it. *sigh

As far as Fedja goes, I called him up last night because I couldn't keep my excitement to myself about knowing how to "somewhat speak" Croatian, so he answered the phone and I said "hello fedja, good evening, how are you? " and it took him a minute to realize who it was, and with a delighted laugh, answered back in his own language "I'm fine, and you're speaking Croatian!". Tee-hee!! I'm such a dork, but a bi-lingual dork!

We ended up talking for almost 3 hours (don't worry mom, it was weekend minutes!), and he finally fessed up as to why he's being such a dork. He told me that he was upset and hurt by me deciding not to move in with him, and that he was trying very hard not to let it get to him, but it did in the end, hence the reason why he was being such a poop stain when he was here last. I told him I had a feeling that it was the case, but it still did sting a little. I mean, why should I get punished for standing my moral ground? I know for a fact that I'd want to kill him within a month, considering his type of men I choose to stay as far away as possible. He sooo ignorant!! lol..but he is my best friend, and he still knows how to make me laugh.

I need to get off my butt and get the ball rolling on the whole Seattle thing. I have a feeling that's going to rule my life until I get an answer. Ugh...this is the hardest part I think...the waiting. I still have a few more things to go, we shall see what happens? Cheerio!

Govorim hrvatski ( I speak Croatian)

Go-vo-rum her-vat-ski...there, now you too can speak a little Croatian. I've found myself doing things lately that I've always put off since I was a teenager...until now. Yes, I have to admit Fedja has a lot of influence when it comes to the second language decision, but again, I've wanted to learn croatian since I was 16. So, I know for a fact that I'll knock his socks off this next month when he comes to visit and I say the following:

"Dobro jutro Fedja. Ja sam Cassie razumeijem hrvatski, kako ste?"

Basic translation: "good morning Fedja, my name is Cassie and I understand Croatian, how are you?"

Not only that, but I've finally started learing "baby chords" on my guitar, and have progressed nicely on my voice lessons. In all honesty I don't know where all this determination is coming from, but I figured I've been putting off stuff I want to learn how to do long enough. I'm turning 25 this year, and to some that's no big deal, but to a 24 year old, it's enough! I mean, what the heck do I have to say for myself, I've been alive on this earth for 24 years straight, and what do I have to show for it? Not only that, but I've somehow managed awaken my muse from her 4 year coma and have been writing everyday! Nothing yet, just ideas, storylines, poetry, random thoughts. It's quite exciting!

I talked to my counselor about Seattle. She's not pleased with me because if I had made better grades, then transferring to AIS wouldn't be a hassle, but since I got a very nawsty grade in my first quarter, it's getting held over my head, not to mention the fact that I should have just moved to Seattle in the first place seeing as how going to school was pointless because of the program structure at AIS. *sigh...I almost wanted to bawl because I'm now officially scared that I won't be able to go! I'm going to be spending a lot of time on my knees with an empty stomach I'll just tell you that now. I haven't thought about what would happen if I didn't go, I haven't let myself plan that far ahead yet, for right now I'm planning on moving to Seattle in mid Sept. If I don't get accepted, then I guess I'm stuck here until I can remedy the situation!

That's it fer now...so on that note, do videnja, laku noc'. (goodbye and good night!)

Darn it! *whack*

So, there's this new manager at the restaurant that I work at (yes, I still do), and his name is Oleg. He's from Russia and has been living in the states for about 8 years. He was a gymnast for 13 years before he moved to the US and now he's a manager of a major hotel/restaurant, which is what he went to school for. He's quite cute, and as I was looking at him, I realized one thing...

HE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE FEDJA!!!

The only difference between Oleg and Fedja is that Fedja is tall and has no eyetooth on the left side, but Oleg is a little shorter and has perfect teeth. Oleg is also nice and curtious, kind and generally interested in everything I have to say (which is always a plus). And Fedja is well, full of himself and not very observant of the emotional status of anyone but himself and his new targets. Oleg also has the ability to make me blush as well as forget to do major things like...breath maybe? I, of course, am a major sucker for accents, and he has a deep russian accent that I just...mmmmmmm*sigh* over. So...there I was at work yesterday, trying very hard not to make it too obvious (so basically I was a blushing mute girl) while doing my job as best as my jello-ey legs would let me. He kept coming into the kitchen and brushing behind me to reach up over my shoulder and put a glass away, or lightly putting his hand on my arm to tell me something, and then "the remark" was made that had me practically sprinting into the safetly of the dishpit.

---THE REMARK--

Oleg: So cassandra, do you think we need to order more silverware?
me: yeah, cuz we keep running out of it before I have a chance to clean any.
Oleg: yeah, I think I will do that tomorrow.
me: sounds good to me. (hesitated) Um Oleg...can I ask a personal question?
Oleg: Um sure, vat is it?
me: (trying desperately to control cheek color and stammer ability) Um...how old are you anyway?
Oleg: I'm 28 years old...why, is that too old for you?
me: (blurting honesty) Oh not at all! (crap! panic! stammer!) Um..I mean, it depends on..um...well, no (nervous twittering laughter).
Oleg: (confused twittering laughter) Oh, ok!
---------------------------------------------------------
At this point I was a wee bit mortified because the reason for my hasty retreat....he is MARRIED!! (baaaaahhh haaaa haaaa). I noticed the ring finally as I was totally flirting, and got REALLY embarrased. He later then made sure to mention his wife in the conversation. Well, ya, I would mention the fact that I had a husband if ever the need arrived. Grrr...argh!

Needless to say that unless he asks me a question, I won't be talking to him soon, cause now I'm all embarrassed because I was TOTALLY flirting with him, and I know he picked up on that. *sigh...that Alanis Morisette song "Ironic" comes into mind..you know the one..."I've met the man of my dreams and then his beautiful wife". Yeah...that's me.

I guess I have to be a sad Tart and drool over a celeb that I'll never get a chance to meet. My heart goes out to you Mr. Gerard Butler...just in case you didn't know. Cheerio.

Poetry

Eyes flash across a smoke filled room as one walks out to leave,
a connection that seems to span a lifetime.

A vision of the future, a blurr of white on a sunny day fades
into a hospital room and a newly sleeping mother.

A life lived within a dream,
a lifetime lived within a moment, a look, an embrace...a smile.

First steps and stumbled words,
skinned knees and nighttime lullabies....
...still that look, a secret smile, and a lasting embrace throughout the eve.

A whole world within a moments glance.
The connection is broken and the couple passes by.
To end this brief span of time would be a tragedy, so it goes into the unkown and
one last minute glance behind soft shoulder.
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+

This poem was inspired by a dream I had a couple months ago. I couldn't see the persons face, but I knew them, or knew that I would know them. I don't know if that makes sense or not. All I know is that it's been a dream that's been stuck in my head for a while! Had to get it out of me brain some how. Cheerio!

Sorry guys...I HAD to do it..you know you drool a bit yerself! Just look at the man! *sigh 

Voice lessons, guitar lessons, and Gerry

So I'm starting my guitar lessons next week with a friend of mine. He's totally stoked to be teaching me (finally). He was like "it's about bloody time you put money down on that thing". I had to laugh, he's been so nice to me the last couple of months, being as attentive as he can, and very inspirational, not to mention the guy who's selling me his car (eventually)! Well, hopefully we can both find some..um...oh yeah, FREE time..whatever the heck that is.

My voice lessons are going well. My teacher keeps insisting that I can sing waaaaay above what I know I can sing. I have a feeling that when my throat actually starts to hurt, that it's not supposed to be stretching that way. She insists (more like argues with me, lol) that my vocal chords just need to stretch and that with time and practice, I can hit any range. *sigh* I'm just afraid of waking up one day with my vocal chords exploding! Highly unlikely I know, but it was a VERY vivid dream! I just know that I'm starting to get more confident as we go, I just hope they can continue as often as possible. It feels soooo good to be doing something with my voice again.

As far as Gerry is concerned. He's become an obsession...Officially. There hasn't been a day gone by that I haven't explored the many websites that offer info and pics of the guy. He really is adorable. However with any obsession, they die out quickly for me. Right now I'm just having fun listen to his scottish brogue, and realizing that he's not perfect, as in he's not LDS, he smokes, and he's not mine! So I'll just have to be content in gazing at his wonderful scottish brooding manliness for now. I really need to go there someday (scotland). Some day Cassaundra...some day. Cheerio!

My first guitar

Well, I finally did it, I bought my first acoustic guitar! I've been wanting one since I was 16 or so, but have never really justified spending money on one. Well, I've found that I can be somewhat impulsive when it comes to certain things (tattoos, piercing...etc), and since I'm trying very hard to be a good girl and a good example of my faith, I no longer have any visible piercings or tattoos. I REALLY wanted to get another tattoo though.

I've found that when life is really crappy for me, I have a tendency to mark it somehow, last time it was my nose, now I wanted a tattoo on my arm. So there I was, waiting in front of a tattoo parlor for my appointment, minding my own business, when all the sudden my feet were tired of waiting, and they just started walking all by themselves. Conversation from brain to feet as follows:

Brain: Hey feet, where ya going?
Feet: Um...I really don't feel like staying still, the ankles are starting to protest and I guess the message got lost to you around the mid-section, so I decided to take matters into my own hands, er...feet.
Brain: But that's not your job, we're here to decorate right arm, remember?
Feet: Yeah, but for some reason I just want to walk.
Eyes: Hey guys, make up your minds! We're headed for a pole!
Brain: LEFT...LEFT!!
Eyes: Holy crap, turn!
Hand: *WHACK* OW!! Watch were ya going! I just got burned earlier today!
Brain: sorry bout that...ok now feet, where ya going??
Feet: I've decided to go home, this is ridiculous!
Brain: Ok, there's the bus plaza...go there and get on the bus.
Feet: Ok...going.
-sitting on the bus on the way home-
Brain: Hmmm...there's that music shop that she's been wanting to check out
Hand: that's it, I'm wanting in on some of this action too, I'm taking matters into my own..well, ME!
Brain: wait! Well, er...I guess we can stop by for a bit.
Feet: Woo-hoo, ok, I like this better....
Brain: Oooooooo....guitars!
Hands (in unison): We can do this!
Heart: Um...ya know brain, I've kept quiet until now, but The Still Small Voice and I have been conversing over here, and ya know, I think this might be a better decision. I'm also sure that Right arm won't mind being spared more pain, ya know?
Right arm: thank you!
Brain: Well, you have been the boss lately, and I guess you're right...ok...let's remember how much money we have....

I guess you can figure out what happens next. All I know is that in all honesty my feet just started walking of their own accord, and I ended up at a music store. I love my guitar, I even named it! (sad right?) I start lessons next week. I think I made the right decision...don't you? Cio'

Obsession

Ok, so I was obsessed with Moulin Rouge for a while, but I believe "Phantom" has definitely taken it's place. I found a website completely dedicated to Gerard Butler, or "Jerry" as he likes to be called (yes, this is my dorky side). I don't get celebrity obsessions that often. I think the last one I had was with Orlando Bloom, but that one only lasted for a couple weeks, then I found that daydreaming got me nowhere. However with Jerry, I can daydream in a scottish accent!

I've always been obsesses with scotland, anyone who knows me, knows that it is my ultimate dream to go there one day. I love scotland so much....I don't think that I would come back! So when a studly dark haired, blue eyed....tall scottish actor debuts, I melt, and I don't stop melting. I'm tempted to have a "Jerry weekend" where I rent all the movies I can with him in them. I do that when I have a new celebrity obsession, cmon', I know you all do it too!

Now I want the soundtrack. I have been humming all the songs in my head, and now I actually want the music and the actual words. *sigh.

On a different note. Life at work wasn't so bad, I solved my...er..problem. Temporarily at least. I brought my portable CD player and put on my headphones and ignored the world. I never said ONE word to my boss. This is the first time in my whole time working there that I haven't said one word to her. Not one! She was a little perplexed by this, but she kept out of my way most of the day. I don't blame her! Anyhoo, we shall see how long I can keep this up! Ugh. Cio'

Shlump *WARNING: BAD MOJO AHEAD!!*

Wow...the last couple of weeks have been so wierd for me. I mean I've been kinda going around in this weird mood to where all I really want to do is stay in bed and not get anything done. I had a HUGE all out with my boss on monday to where I got to yell at her for an hour and a half about how much I hate my job and how she treats me like crap. I don't think it did a bloody thing, but at least she finally knows how miserable I am. Of course I do understand that I have to be somewhat grateful because there really aren't many places out there to where you can yell at your boss and still retain a job. I was actually ready to quit, but like most humans faced with extreme emotional (not to mention monitary) turmoil, I got scared and just ended up telling her that I was tired of being treated like I was stupid and didn't know my job.

She ended up not understanding much, because she kept making references to that day in particular, and I was summing up the last four years of effing hell that I've gone through working there. GAH!!! She just doesn't see the big picture here. So basically I ended up looking like some kind of ungrateful brat child, and not only that, but she mentioned raises, and how she's given a few, and the reason why I didn't get one, and I'm quoting here, is because "you make me so darn mad sometimes!". I just kind of stood there in stun mode until my brain kicked in and I exclaimed that personal feelings have nothing to do with performance. I am but a single person who is the only one that presses dresses. I press about 64 dresses a week, and I'm all by myself. I work my butt off, and she doesn't want to give me raise based off of my work, but because I make her mad sometimes????!!! I just couldn't believe it. I just gave her a hurt look and told her that was a low blow. That's when I left. I just couldn't handle it.

I have to go back there today, and I really don't want to. She's going to be there, and I don't want to go. I found out through my manager that she was "worried about my mental health". Well, yeah, when you're the direct cause of a employee's mental breakdown, I would be a little concerned too. I don't think she really cares. I think I've lost all respect for that woman.

All I know is that if I "tough it out" like everyone is telling me, then there's no telling where my sanity will be at the end of Aug. I'm almost tempted to get some crappy job until then. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, but one thing is for sure. I don't think I'll last that long. Cio'

*drool, drool, drool* 

Harry Potter, Phantom of the Opera and Exile

Just call me slacker central. Those are my new obsessions for the month. Thanks to my dear sister, she lent me the 3rd installment of the "Myst" series for my computer...and let's just say I lose track of time a lot more often now...like I find myself saying things like "wow...I had now idea FOUR hours could go by that fast", or "I'll just solve this last puzzle", then I do, and it get's me excited for the next one! I'm doomed.

Speaking of getting me excited...hell00000000 Gerard Butler (a.k.a the Phantom)! So I remember that when I saw Moulin Rouge for the first time, I was a little obsessed. Uh..yeah, this is definetly my new love. I wonder if I can scrounge up enough to get the DVD...which in all honesty wouldn't do me that much good based on the fact that my computer is my only DVD player. *sigh...being a student with limited means sucks. Oh well, I think I could handle it. Oh, and don't you worry, the official website is on my favorites list! (droooool)

And so, from my last post, I was ranting about how much I hated my restaurant job, and that I was kinda glad that I was no longer employed. Well, I called up my, uh...."Supervisor" (super?), and he informed me that I was not fired, but that he 'forgot' about me. LIKE HELL!! So after getting things straightened out, I supposedly will be working this week. *grumble* We shall see. If he forgets to put me on the schedule again, then I'll just quite, that place is so messed up anyway. Yeah, the food is good, but geesh, if you based the quality of food off of how well the management treats the employee's, then it would be like dining at some poe-dunk backwater type establishment in the DEEEEP south where they make hats for the kids out of the animals they use in their main dishes (or run over...whatever they get first). Yeah, it's that bad.

Had a talk with a counselor at the Art Institute of Seattle. If everything goes according to plan, I'll be moving to Seattle by Sept. AHHHHHH!!!! More on that later. Cio'

Unexpected, but needed freedom.

So politics of a restaurant are as follows. Hire a whole bunch of people, find loyalty, then dump the rest. Then start systematically firing those who you feel just don't quite need the job, then hire family members to take up the slack. THEN it becomes a family owned restaurant and the authenticity either goes up or loses value, depending on how white trash the family is.

Well, I consider the people at my restaurant to be a white trash family. Me excluded, well, as of yesterday anyway. Over my vacation time, I was slowly replaced with the brother of the cook, not because he was more talented than I, noooo, it was because I am not in dire need of a second job apparently. It's nice to know that these things are decided for me. What gets me is not the fact that I'm no longer employed there, I was actually hating it, it was the way it was gone about.

Lies, deceit, then more lies, then my 'manager' (who happens to be the bfrnd of ex-bstfrnd), is too much of a pussy to tell me like he's supposed to. He lets the other wait staff inform me that my name is no longer on the schedule in which "you have to take it up with the manager". Ugh, the "manager" was hired, not based on actual ability, but out of desperation. Now he thinks that he is 'King Everything', yeah, hate to break it to him, but I was actually CALLED BACK from the owner because I do my job well, he was "kept on" because there was no one else to replace him in such short notice. *sigh Not only that, but the complaints I hear about him on a daily basis, are just ridiculous. All I know, is that if I were in charge, I would have fired his a** a long time ago because he's lazy and doesn't do his job well. Thank goodness I'm a firm believer in Karma, or else I would go mad!

So, now my afternoons are free up, which is actually nice considering I was actually thinking of quitting anyway. This gives me a chance to actually concentrate more on school and such, plus that but working at the shop takes more out of me during the summer than anything. So working my buns off only to go to work at the restraint to further my pain for another 5-6 hours after that is just plain wrong. Hopefully I'll get a raise soon...*hope, hope, hope* Cio'

Pigeons, prom, and the occasional cat call

Wow...what a week. My week back from vacation consisted of catching the last 4 remaining pigeons in our air duct (one in mid-air!!), pressing a GAZILLION prom dresses for the next 2 weekends, and looking very hot and getting noticed by a cutie pa-tootie walking down the street on the way to a friends first live punk concert performance in 10 years. Ok..so I did really look HOOOOOT!! Can we say self confidence??

I've altered my looks somewhat, I think I've actually found a style I can be comfortable with, it's a cross between hippy and yuppie, but without smelling like patchulli or ralph lauren. Instead I smell like nag champa and coconut/lime body spray. Apparently not a bad combination, or so was said by a good friend of mine, "can I just sit here and smell your shoulder?". Of course I said no, but it was funny at the time, cuz I blush easy, and they know it!!

Well, I'm sitting here at my computer, cursing nails in general with all my backspacing and such, and I keep hearing random screaming coming from down the block...NO it's not that, but Bloomsday is going on. It's on of the biggest marathons in the nation, and everyone who's everyone is running/walking it. It's a 7 mile race, and most people try to accomplish it in less than a 2 hour span. Me, well, I did it once (which is enough let me tell you) and my time was something like 2:02. I walked the whole time, and to top it all off, it was raining and people were wearing plastic bags as ponchos and then discarding them on the street, so about half way through, I slipped on a plastic bag and twisted my ankle. I finished the race regardless, and I figured that since I did it that time, I didn't have to do it again. So for now I'm going to go next door to feed A's rat and spend a few minutes laughing...em, er...cheering those who have more guts than I.

Oh, 'A' is in SLC right now for some job interviews and to visit Jenn. He's totally smitten and has plastered photo's of her and him all over his apartment, so when I come to see him, I'm assaulted by a mass of cutsie smiling, blonde haired, blue eyed Jenn. *note to self- stay away from his place from now on!

It's past the bothering stage, because I know that it's not meant to be; however it does kinda pour lemon juice on the wound, and I haven't left his place feeling happy since he started becoming enamored with her, so why torture myself?? I'm pretty sure it's going to be a while until I have any kind of happiness with anyone. *sigh

Well, today I'm going to have to do a butt load of laundry and actually catch up with my dishes. I don't want to do anything but lay around , but I've done that enough, it's time I actually finish unpacking. I mean, I'm going on month 3 in my not-so-new-place, and I still find myself digging out of boxes. Ok...time to get going. Cio'