Shlump *WARNING: BAD MOJO AHEAD!!*

Wow...the last couple of weeks have been so wierd for me. I mean I've been kinda going around in this weird mood to where all I really want to do is stay in bed and not get anything done. I had a HUGE all out with my boss on monday to where I got to yell at her for an hour and a half about how much I hate my job and how she treats me like crap. I don't think it did a bloody thing, but at least she finally knows how miserable I am. Of course I do understand that I have to be somewhat grateful because there really aren't many places out there to where you can yell at your boss and still retain a job. I was actually ready to quit, but like most humans faced with extreme emotional (not to mention monitary) turmoil, I got scared and just ended up telling her that I was tired of being treated like I was stupid and didn't know my job.

She ended up not understanding much, because she kept making references to that day in particular, and I was summing up the last four years of effing hell that I've gone through working there. GAH!!! She just doesn't see the big picture here. So basically I ended up looking like some kind of ungrateful brat child, and not only that, but she mentioned raises, and how she's given a few, and the reason why I didn't get one, and I'm quoting here, is because "you make me so darn mad sometimes!". I just kind of stood there in stun mode until my brain kicked in and I exclaimed that personal feelings have nothing to do with performance. I am but a single person who is the only one that presses dresses. I press about 64 dresses a week, and I'm all by myself. I work my butt off, and she doesn't want to give me raise based off of my work, but because I make her mad sometimes????!!! I just couldn't believe it. I just gave her a hurt look and told her that was a low blow. That's when I left. I just couldn't handle it.

I have to go back there today, and I really don't want to. She's going to be there, and I don't want to go. I found out through my manager that she was "worried about my mental health". Well, yeah, when you're the direct cause of a employee's mental breakdown, I would be a little concerned too. I don't think she really cares. I think I've lost all respect for that woman.

All I know is that if I "tough it out" like everyone is telling me, then there's no telling where my sanity will be at the end of Aug. I'm almost tempted to get some crappy job until then. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do, but one thing is for sure. I don't think I'll last that long. Cio'