Woke up this morning...with..a smile??!!

Hey, yah, that doesn't happen too often. All I can say is cool! Obviously I'm feeling better about things, I just needed some time to myself to feel sad for a bit, so I guess that was it.

Yesterday was humorous now that I can look back at it. Of course, not meaning to, I gave 'A' the cold shoulder when he came to get his rat. I was trying to be nice, but it just wasn't in me, and I was really tired of pretending that everything was hunky-dory, cuz it wasn't. Ya'll have to be proud of me though, I didn't say anything, and I kept the topics to a minimum. Of course he did ask me if I was pissed off at something, and I just casually replied that it had been a tough day, and I was really tired, but as usual, he asked me if I was lying, and honestly I said no, but I didn't offer any detail. I do feel bad, so after I came back to my place, I wrote him an email apologizing for my mood, and that I just needed some time alone because I was having a rough spot in my life, but I'd see him at church if nothing else. He's not stupid when it comes to my moods, but he is kinda naive about why I'm in them. Ignorance is bliss as far as he's concerned, so why make things worse?

I made a HUGE mistake at work yesterday too , and things just weren't going well. I have a feeling that Satan was very happy about me being miserable, cuz everything that could make me sad, happened. I have songs that represents all of my past relationships, and of course this would be the day that they all play on the radio as I'm hiding in the basement from customers, pressing the 30 million effing tulle prom dresses! I haven't heard these songs in a long time, but then they ALL decided to play, which did not improve my mood. Then the one time I do come upstairs to grab some files, we're so busy that I have to write a receipt out for a customer who's paying off her daughter's prom dress. Well, she pays with a Visa, so naturally I ask for her ID. I notice that she's from the same small town as Matt, and like a COMPLETE IDIOT I say that I know a family from there. Well DUH small town equals everybody knows each other! So, of course she asks who, and (while I'm kicking myself mentally), I tell them who, and lo and behold, Matt's dad happens to be the prom girl's teacher!!!!!! So she asks my name so that she could tell them hi for me. By this time I'm in panic mode, so I just smile a lame smile and tell the lady that it was ok, that I prolly should call them myself and say hi (lame, lame, lame, lame). She kinda gives me a confused look and a weak "ok" and waves goodbye (AAAAAAHHHHGG). Yeah, I can just picture the comment now..."oh, i met somebody that you know at the bridal store where my daughter got her prom dress" (parent's reply) "yeah, our son used to date that girl, she's kinda psycho for talking to you, I'd stay away, she's somewhat of a leach". *sigh...no, I don't really think they'd say that, because if anything Matt's excuse for us not being together anymore was, "things just didn't work out". I know he's not a snitch, and his family is wonderful, I really enjoyed spending time with them, so add insult to injury, I was thinks bout Matt too!

Well, so after all that, I still managed to wake up with a smile on my face. I don't care if I have to go to work, I don't care that I have a TON of homework piled up on me, for right now I'm not feeling so bad, and how I can withstand all this and still be in a good mood is beyond me. For now I'll just go for it. That, and thank goodness for the power of prayer. I think that helps too. Well, off to work, cio'!